10 Steps to a Happy Blended Family
A blended family is formed when a parent with one or more children marries. The second parent might or might not have children.
Blending families is in no way a simple task. Even if everyone starts out viewing the new living agreement as a positive one, tensions and stresses will come up. It is all a part of learning to live as one. Remember, you are taking two very different family structures and trying to blend them as one to make something new. There is bound to be some opposition. It is vital to understand that every blended family goes through a bumpy phase of change and, typically, it does go by. If your family seems to be having difficult time blending there are some steps available that can help.
10 steps to a happy blended family
Having survived an agonizing divorce and then managed to find a new affectionate relationship, the enticement can often be to rush into remarriage and a blended family without some guidelines can be frustrating.
Step 1. Be aware of that the stepfamily will not function as a natural family does. It has its own unique condition of actions and conducts. Once learn, these behaviors can turn out to be predictable and helpful. Do not try to overlay the expectations and dynamics of the natural family onto the stepfamily.
Step 2. Make parenting changes before you get married. Be in agreement with your new spouse how you intend to parent collectively, and then make any required modification to your parenting method before you remarry. It'll make for a smoother development and your children won't become annoyed at your new spouse for introducing changes.
Step 3. Discipline method must be structure out by the couple. The couple, preferably with the help of a stepfamily foundation skilled expert, need to instantaneously and specially work out what the children's task are. What suitable behavior and what are the consequences when children behave badly? Generally, in the beginning, it is advice that the natural parent does the discipline as much as is reasonable. The couple collectively exclusively works out task, expected behaviors and family etiquette.
Step 4. Fast and forceful step parenting doesn't work. Go slow. Don't come too tough and never over do it.
Step 5. Set up clear task details between the parent, stepparent and respective children. What in particular is the job of each one of us in this family? We need to be as detailed as we are in big business.
Step 6. Identify that impracticable expectations bring about rejections and anger. Note the absence of myth around the stepfather. It is very important for the survival of the stepfather to be able to see and outline expectations for each member of the family, particularly the primary problems of upset in blending the family: e.g. discipline, the previous spouse, cash, visitation, authority, emotional support, territory and custody.
Step 7. Don't allow ultimatums. Your children or new spouse might put you in a circumstance where you feel you have to select between them. Remind them that you want both sets of people in your life.
Step 8. Seen and loved. Children often feel insignificant when it comes to choice making in the new blended family. Identify their position in the family when you make decisions
Step 9. The argument of faithfulness must be acknowledged right from the beginning. The argument is particular to step and is full of confused feelings. Often, just as the child in step begins to have affectionate feelings toward the stepparent, the child will pull away and negatively act out. He/she will feel that the love for his/her natural parent is no more. The feelings are normal and must be attained to.
Step 10. Watch your sense of humor and use it. The step condition is filled with the unpredicted. Occasionally we don't know whether to express amusement or to weep. Then try humor.